No More Emotional Scars

For those who once believed a lie about themselves, embraced that they were created to be less than average, less than attractive, or completely undesirable, today's post is for you.

When we love someone, whether parent or partner, we give them the power to hurt us deeply. No matter what the experts say, the opinions and views of our loved ones affect us in every area of our lives. And when they abuse us emotionally, we're left vulnerable to outside attacks as well. We all know what can go wrong and how often it does, but here's how to heal.

Knowledge brings power and application of the knowledge brings healing. The fact is, none of us are perfect. The person you spend the most time trying to impress or satisfy is just as imperfect as you are. A healthy relationship understands this and the people in it attempt to elevate each other and become better because of one another. An unhealthy relationship seeks to debase you because of your flaws and failures. Let go of those debasing words you've heard. Stop replaying them in your mind. Stop replaying the video of the ridicule on the faces of those you wanted to believe in you. Instead, look at yourself and for yourself, make the choice to be the best person you can. Love yourself as you come day by day.

There is no formula to make everybody like you. There is no acceptance potions, no way to please everybody any of the time. To live trying to win approval of people is a lifetime in prison, a lifetime without ever embracing your true self. God created you for more, to give you a future and a hope, not to destroy or constrict you. He gave you freedom and if you choose, you can walk in it every day of your life!

For more inspiration, please visit Officially Lacresha Hayes or connect with me at Twitter. To get copies of my books, including my bestseller, The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive, visit my website.

Understand Depression and Suicide

Most people who struggle internally, emotionally, mentally are usually loners. Even around others, they feel out of step somehow because of all the inner turmoil going on in their lives. Truth be told, part of their suffering is because of that loneliness that seems to penetrate the bones and very soul of that person.

There was a time when I was very lonely. I felt unloved and unimportant. During those times, I was extremely depressed and suicidal, looking for a way to escape from myself. That is the secret about suicide. Sure, the people who try or do it are often burdened by both internal and external forces, but it is that pain that never goes away that drives suicidal thoughts. And after awhile, a person begins to feel as if the pain will never end and that they'd rather die than live in the misery they perceive their lives may always be, or rather die than remain the person they think they are now. In short, they become hopeless. They lose the ability to believe anything will ever change for them.

There are probably millions of people who think about suicide each day but keep it to themselves. Mental anguish and emotional pain are not easy to share. But being armed with knowledge, each person can begin to make a difference in the lives around them, enough to help unburden those who feel alone by being open to listen and share with friends and family.

When I first began writing about depression and understanding the illogical thoughts of a suicidal person, people were shocked. They didn't understand how I could open my own life to such harsh criticism. But there never was an option not to because I survived depression and suicide attempts. I lived through it and came out of it by the help of God. How could I not share what has worked for me and, for all intents and purposes, saved my life?

Be sure that as you continue to read and follow this blog, you'll be asked to deal with your own inner pain and once you're healed, you'll then be asked to care enough to offer the answer to someone else. It is a duty for survivors to assist because when we were struggling, there was nothing more desired than loving arms, listening ears, understanding hearts and open minds. Be the answer you sought.

For more information about me, visit my website and don't miss out on my bestselling book, The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive, which tackles the difficult subject of healing after any form of abuse, especially sexual abuse. Chances are you know someone who could benefit from the wisdom found within the pages. Available anywhere books are sold!

Time to Heal

Might not seem possible today, but the worst event in your life can be turned around. It can become the source of your greatest joy, the foundation of your brightest moment, a place of peace later on in life.


I often think about some of the Old Testament stories and one sticks out today. When the children of Israel were in the desert, their disobedience caused them to be stung to the point of death by serpents. Later when Moses descended back to them, God gave a weird instruction. He said to fashion a serpent and lift it up among the people. And those who look upon it would be healed. Now, I wasn't there, but just being human, the last thing I'd want to look upon is something that had put me in pain or danger in the first place. What was the significance of being healed by the same thing that damaged you in the first place? It was as if God wanted to show them that they could face their new greatest fear or threat and be healed from it.


When I first began sharing my story, it hurt so badly I often choked up and cried after a few words. It was humiliating to me, a prideful woman who was taught not to cry and certainly not in front of people. But each time I looked up at my pain and shared it with others, the stronger I became. And soon, it got to the point that I felt nothing. It was as if it didn't even happen, nothing more than a memory without feelings. And now, I can stand and tell my story with a smile. I've faced that pain and shame down, and what's so wonderful about it is behind it all is now a bestselling book, The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive. After the healing, there is always some wonderful treat left behind to remind you that God is able to bring you through ANYTHING if you want to come through it. It isn't comfortable, but remaining broken shouldn't be an option. Time to heal!

Three Years and Going Strong

My book, THE RAPE OF INNOCENCE: TAKING CAPTIVITY CAPTIVE, has been out three years and it is still going strong. Praise GOD!

The Rape of Innocence sampler 2

Many times over the course of the school year, I was either molested or raped. I had more narrow escapes than anyone I know. I suppose if I told it all, I would need to write two books. Suffice to say that I learned to separate my mind from my body just to keep my sanity. It seemed that the more men took liberties, the more I gave those liberties away so that it would not hurt as bad. But I hated… I hated deeply, and loathing overfilled my hardened heart. Hatred began to control me. I was depressed and pitiful, doing things then that as an adult I have had to be healed from. The things that were done to me, and the things I did, caused me to become a horrible person. I was trifling and I didn’t care about anyone… not even myself. I took my cues from the people around me. They treated me as if I was nothing and nothing nice I became. I didn’t have a reason to be nice. I didn’t have a reason to care about others. In my mind, no one cared about me. I thought I was free. Little did I know I was bound in the deepest of pits, trapped by my own twisted mindset.

The angry method of coping I chose probably hurt me worse than the actual rapes, countless molestations or my abandonment issues had. Because I was tired of fighting to keep my body to myself, I didn’t value it anymore. Sex was not precious or exclusive. To me, it was a given- something a girl had to do, one way or the other.

I carried this attitude into both of my two failed marriages, and it was the reason lots of things didn’t work out for me for a very long time.

(From chapter 6: Where is the Love? of The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive by Lacresha Hayes All rights reserved!)

The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive

After much prodding, a few great ideas from friends, I've decided to start a blog dedicated only to healing after abuse and abandonment.

This blog will deal with those issues, as well as discuss the work I do as a survivor to help others, including book, clothing, and food donations. I will also list my speaking engagements here.

The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive is my bestselling book. It deals with all the trials and pain I faced in my struggle, and how I made it through all of it. I've gotten hundreds and hundreds of emails from people who have read the book and made positive changes.

I would love to hear from the readers of this blog on a regular basis. Comment on the posts, and if you need to reach me, my contact information is on the sidebar.