The Rape of Innocence is Becoming a Film

I'm so delighted to tell all my Rape blog readers that this book, the one most of you tell me have helped change your life, is now going to be made into a film. It still seems unbelievable, but God is a good God and He keeps His word at all times.

I'm asking all my blog readers who have not purchased a book to get one now by ordering from the sidebar. If you have one already and have read it, please leave me a review at Amazon.com, or on Goodreads. Tell everyone you know about it and stay tuned in here.

I'm currently working on a rewrite for this book, giving it a more professional layout and having it professionally edited. I'll keep everyone posted. For more info, see my blog post at http://learntofeelpretty.blogspot.com

Stripping of Will

One of the biggest problems with rape, molestation and other such crimes is the stripping of will. When someone takes anything from you, it makes you lose confidence in your ability to make decisions and protect yourself. Low self-esteem often results, and before long, victims of abuse find themselves almost needing their abuser, particularly in domestic violence. What do I mean?

It seems like they've been stripped of everything they were, so they now only identify themselves as a victim and in relation to the incident of abuse. That is a problem. I'm not just a former victim of abuse. I am also an abuse advocate. I'm also a pastor. I'm also a mother. I have other ways to identify myself. That is healthy. Some people are still stuck and feel like eternal victims. That's unhealthy and a sign of a missing identity. Pray with me now.

Father God, I pray for all those reading this blog post. I ask you to restore power to their minds and hearts. Restore their bodies. Give them back their esteem. Empower them to use their pain and past mistakes or happenings to help others and themselves. I speak strength over their lives. I speak peace to their minds. I speak serenity to their hearts. God, shower the readers with your love. Let them know that they mean the world to you. Saturate them in your joy, and give them an abundant life. God, for all the years they suffered pain, I thank you that those years will be multiplied back in your joy. I pray for all these in Jesus' name, AMEN!!!

Victim or Survivor

There's no sense in denying it. Bouncing back from catastrophe is not an easy job. It takes more than motivational messages. It takes more than knowledge. It also takes the inner desire to bounce back. It takes the faith to believe things can be better for you. This is where almost everyone stumbles.

When you're heart has been broken by abuse, sometimes there's a tendency to feel like nothing is ever going to take that away. And, you're absolutely right. Nothing is going to erase the memory of your abuse. You have to learn to master that memory and control the pain. You have to take the power from the abuser. Nothing does that better than choosing to think differently about yourself. You cannot keep calling yourself a victim and think that you'll be free. Once you're ready for life to move on, you'll have to call yourself a survivor.

It's time for you to believe in yourself and in life again. Things can be better. Even if people don't change for you, you can change for yourself.

Retrain the Brain

For many victims of abuse, the hard part of recovery is retraining the brain to function differently. Most people can't get over trying to rationalize the event that hurt them so deeply. There's not always a reason for abuse. Sometimes, it just is. Regardless of the reason, it's never your fault. Don't try to find a reason to hate yourself. Rather, focus on loving yourself again.

A Tear Jerker

Yesterday, a friend wrote me. We've been online friends for the better of four years. We talk almost everyday. I had no earthly idea she'd been sexually and physically abused. She purchased my book a couple of weeks ago. So, here's what she wrote...

Cre,
Sorry it took so long to get a copy of your book. To be honest, I was afraid to get it. I was afraid to deal with the issue of abuse. You know I hate gettting emotional. It makes me feel unstable. I've had the book for two weeks. I've been finished with it for one week. That's why I haven't written over this past week. I didn't know what to say. You know how I feel about anything religious. Much of it is written from a perspective I can't understand. This time was different. Anyway, I won't go into my story. It's probably just like everyone else's story. I was molested. I married a suited hood. He beat me black and blue throughout our marriage. He caused me to have several miscarriages. Finally, I came out of the marriage with a physically disabled child and with loss of sight in one eye. I went from that to women. I had a lover who also abused me, took my money, abused my son. I went from that to drugs. I released the drugs three years ago. I never hoped to have a man or woman in my life any more. I don't like either one, but your book gave me hope to maybe give God a try. I'm still undecided so please, no pressure. I'll write you back when I'm ready. I love you, girl.

The Rape of Innocence sampler 2

Many times over the course of the school year, I was either molested or raped. I had more narrow escapes than anyone I know. I suppose if I told it all, I would need to write two books. Suffice to say that I learned to separate my mind from my body just to keep my sanity. It seemed that the more men took liberties, the more I gave those liberties away so that it would not hurt as bad. But I hated… I hated deeply, and loathing overfilled my hardened heart. Hatred began to control me. I was depressed and pitiful, doing things then that as an adult I have had to be healed from. The things that were done to me, and the things I did, caused me to become a horrible person. I was trifling and I didn’t care about anyone… not even myself. I took my cues from the people around me. They treated me as if I was nothing and nothing nice I became. I didn’t have a reason to be nice. I didn’t have a reason to care about others. In my mind, no one cared about me. I thought I was free. Little did I know I was bound in the deepest of pits, trapped by my own twisted mindset.

The angry method of coping I chose probably hurt me worse than the actual rapes, countless molestations or my abandonment issues had. Because I was tired of fighting to keep my body to myself, I didn’t value it anymore. Sex was not precious or exclusive. To me, it was a given- something a girl had to do, one way or the other.

I carried this attitude into both of my two failed marriages, and it was the reason lots of things didn’t work out for me for a very long time.

(From chapter 6: Where is the Love? of The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive by Lacresha Hayes All rights reserved!)

Another Testimonial

I'm very proud and tearful over this one:

Ms. Hayes, thank you so much for writing this book. I've suffered so long with the pain. I've lost a wonderful husband and my son. Seems when people try to love me, I push them away. I don't always try to. It just happens. I'm miserable without my family and had thought of killing myself several times. Your book gave me hope. I love you like the friend and big sister I never had. I hope to meet you one day. That would be a dream come true.

Cabria M.