The New RAPE OF INNOCENCE

Finally, after months of thinking and rethinking my life and my most popular book to date, I've figured out what is staying, what is going and what I needed to add. The updated version of The Rape of Innocence is finally done and headed off for more editorial work. Praise God! It was a difficult job, but I believe you all will love the new book even more than the last, though it would behoove you to have a copy of both books since they will have different stories in them.

Mirror

Look in the mirror and say 5 great things about yourself before you begin your day today. And repeat them throughout the day. It's time to heal, ladies and gentlemen!

Be With Yourself

Today's assignment is to take yourself to a place you've never gone before alone. Go for a solitary walk in the park or around a local lake. Visit the mall alone or out to eat at your favorite restaurant. WHY?

Most victims of abuse or those with horrible pasts hate being alone and they bury themselves with company and activities that keep them in the midst of people to hide from themselves. Learn to love you again and value your own company. Being alone isn't a bad thing. And guess what? You aren't a horrible person. There's some good in there for you to reflect upon.

Make Someone Smile

Today's assignment is for you to find one someone and choose to make them smile. It can be the clerk at the grocery store or drive thru. Whoever it is, once you make them smile, you'll notice something new in yourself. Because honestly, your reason for living isn't just to suffer. You have something wonderful in you that is capable of enriching the lives of others. Time to find it!

Armed with Knowledge

It is not the victim of abuse that should be ashamed. It is the abuser. We must learn how to hear the problems of others in a way that does not further isolate them or make them feel as if they are going through some rare, unheard of problem. We need to be armed with knowledge and compassion because while there is more available by way of various associations, books and via the media, there is yet a long way to go to truly see the silent evils of abused men, women and children.

Just look at the alarming rate of abuse being reported against prominent political, religious and social figures. We need some answer for these people and we must provide it in the most open and accepting way possible. 

For those who have not done so yet, please take a trip over by RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) and learn more about what parts you can play.

We Can All Be Advocates

There are many forms of abuse and many methods within each form, but at the end of the day, they all work to destroy the esteem, mental and emotional wholeness and family structure of the victim. In fact, the very cruelty of abuse is that it creates victims. It causes isolation at best, extreme paranoia at worst.


One thing we can all do daily to advocate healing for those who have suffered from abuse is to show understanding, to provide a listening ear, to spread information for professional help and support, and stay informed on what protections are out there.


While not everyone has been a victim, until everyone decides this is an evil we will NOT allow in our society, we will continue to see it happen, go unreported and therefore unpunished, and it will be only a matter of time before it reaches out and touches us or someone close to us. Let's all choose to be advocates today!

ABUSE: There's a Difference

There's a difference between the various forms of abuse and how they affect the victim. Sometimes, we lump abuse together and try to make a one-size-fits-all solution, but it isn't that simple.


Usually, domestic violence is the most visible form of abuse. Victims are ashamed, afraid and apprehensive about life in general and especially distrust new people. There are some people who grew up in violent households and so now in their own violent relationship, they may appear incredibly well adjusted because that's all they've ever known. But even these victims have a large amount of fear on the inside.


Victims of sexual abuse are often very hush hush about it because of the nature of sex and the nature of the abuse. In this huge category, you have various forms of abuse such as molestation, incest, rape by strangers, date rape, statutory rape and even marital rape (which is more common than you might think). Altogether, this form of abuse usually takes longer to heal because it takes so long to get a victim to open up about the events and to face the pain.


Verbal and emotional abuse is probably the most common abuse and often overlooked because many people have a hard time identifying it. They don't realize that being called "nothing" or a "loser" is a form of abuse. Sometimes, it begins in early childhood at the hands of parents and then later is perpetuated by significant others. Once a person accepts this form of abuse and adopts the thoughts of the abuser, it can take years to help them heal and learn to think better of themselves. Probably more so than any other abuse, this form leads to chronic depression, bipolar disorder and suicide or suicide attempts.


Be informed about the abuse that is prevalent and the solutions for each form. Keep your eyes open for warning signs in family and friends. Seek help if you are in any of these situations.