It's hard to smile again when you've been hurt by those closest to you. If only I could say that abuse is rare, I'd be happier, but you are not alone. Many people have been verbally, physically and sexually abused by those closest to them. Statistics vary according to studies, but all of them put the estimate over fifty percent. That's a lot of people walking around feeling alienated, shame and hopeless. That's why blogs like this are so important.
Believe it or not, many of the people you know and look up to have been abused. They may never speak of it, but you can find victims everywhere in all social circles and income brackets. While you're walking around feeling like you'll never be happy again, never be productive, never get over what has happened to you, the truth is you're walking beside someone who went through worse and overcame. And guess what, you can overcome too. You can reclaim your life and your happiness. You don't have to hurt forever, nor do you have anything to be ashamed of. It's time to come out of the pits of despair and trust that life can and will get better. You'll smile again and if you're willing, you may help some other victims get over the victim's mentality and live a full, productive life again too.
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There's a difference between the various forms of abuse and how they affect the victim. Sometimes, we lump abuse together and try to make a one-size-fits-all solution, but it isn't that simple.
Usually, domestic violence is the most visible form of abuse. Victims are ashamed, afraid and apprehensive about life in general and especially distrust new people. There are some people who grew up in violent households and so now in their own violent relationship, they may appear incredibly well adjusted because that's all they've ever known. But even these victims have a large amount of fear on the inside.
Victims of sexual abuse are often very hush hush about it because of the nature of sex and the nature of the abuse. In this huge category, you have various forms of abuse such as molestation, incest, rape by strangers, date rape, statutory rape and even marital rape (which is more common than you might think). Altogether, this form of abuse usually takes longer to heal because it takes so long to get a victim to open up about the events and to face the pain.
Verbal and emotional abuse is probably the most common abuse and often overlooked because many people have a hard time identifying it. They don't realize that being called "nothing" or a "loser" is a form of abuse. Sometimes, it begins in early childhood at the hands of parents and then later is perpetuated by significant others. Once a person accepts this form of abuse and adopts the thoughts of the abuser, it can take years to help them heal and learn to think better of themselves. Probably more so than any other abuse, this form leads to chronic depression, bipolar disorder and suicide or suicide attempts.
Be informed about the abuse that is prevalent and the solutions for each form. Keep your eyes open for warning signs in family and friends. Seek help if you are in any of these situations.
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