No More Emotional Scars

For those who once believed a lie about themselves, embraced that they were created to be less than average, less than attractive, or completely undesirable, today's post is for you.

When we love someone, whether parent or partner, we give them the power to hurt us deeply. No matter what the experts say, the opinions and views of our loved ones affect us in every area of our lives. And when they abuse us emotionally, we're left vulnerable to outside attacks as well. We all know what can go wrong and how often it does, but here's how to heal.

Knowledge brings power and application of the knowledge brings healing. The fact is, none of us are perfect. The person you spend the most time trying to impress or satisfy is just as imperfect as you are. A healthy relationship understands this and the people in it attempt to elevate each other and become better because of one another. An unhealthy relationship seeks to debase you because of your flaws and failures. Let go of those debasing words you've heard. Stop replaying them in your mind. Stop replaying the video of the ridicule on the faces of those you wanted to believe in you. Instead, look at yourself and for yourself, make the choice to be the best person you can. Love yourself as you come day by day.

There is no formula to make everybody like you. There is no acceptance potions, no way to please everybody any of the time. To live trying to win approval of people is a lifetime in prison, a lifetime without ever embracing your true self. God created you for more, to give you a future and a hope, not to destroy or constrict you. He gave you freedom and if you choose, you can walk in it every day of your life!

For more inspiration, please visit Officially Lacresha Hayes or connect with me at Twitter. To get copies of my books, including my bestseller, The Rape of Innocence: Taking Captivity Captive, visit my website.

ABUSE: There's a Difference

There's a difference between the various forms of abuse and how they affect the victim. Sometimes, we lump abuse together and try to make a one-size-fits-all solution, but it isn't that simple.


Usually, domestic violence is the most visible form of abuse. Victims are ashamed, afraid and apprehensive about life in general and especially distrust new people. There are some people who grew up in violent households and so now in their own violent relationship, they may appear incredibly well adjusted because that's all they've ever known. But even these victims have a large amount of fear on the inside.


Victims of sexual abuse are often very hush hush about it because of the nature of sex and the nature of the abuse. In this huge category, you have various forms of abuse such as molestation, incest, rape by strangers, date rape, statutory rape and even marital rape (which is more common than you might think). Altogether, this form of abuse usually takes longer to heal because it takes so long to get a victim to open up about the events and to face the pain.


Verbal and emotional abuse is probably the most common abuse and often overlooked because many people have a hard time identifying it. They don't realize that being called "nothing" or a "loser" is a form of abuse. Sometimes, it begins in early childhood at the hands of parents and then later is perpetuated by significant others. Once a person accepts this form of abuse and adopts the thoughts of the abuser, it can take years to help them heal and learn to think better of themselves. Probably more so than any other abuse, this form leads to chronic depression, bipolar disorder and suicide or suicide attempts.


Be informed about the abuse that is prevalent and the solutions for each form. Keep your eyes open for warning signs in family and friends. Seek help if you are in any of these situations.