Truth is, it's easier to be sad, down, destitute and hopeless. When you're there, you can't sink any lower. And for someone who has been sinking for a long time, the bottom may feel good because at least you don't have to worry about things getting any worse. But that kind of thinking is called defeatism. You've already accepted the worst and fear won't allow you to hope for better. When people fall into this category, you see it in their lifestyles. These are women who don't mind finding a little pleasure in the arms of a married man. These are men who don't mind selling their integrity just to have bragging rights of women he's bedded. These are people who no longer believe in anything good so they have a problem producing something good. But this cycle can be broken and should be if you hope to reclaim control of your life and live one you can be proud of.
The first step to change for me was to realize that I cannot change the past no matter how much I grieve. No amount of grief will reverse bad fortune and no amount of guilt will reverse bad decisions. What else is there to do other than let it go and begin again. Realizing that God loves me when my faith is weak or strong, when I believe or walk in disbelief, whatever state I'm in, God's love does not change. Seeing the goodness of God through tragedy isn't easy. But once He revealed His nature to me, my life motivation changed and my purpose changed and so did my mindset. And what once used to tear me apart on the inside now doesn't even tickle. It is nothing more than a testimony to empower you all and anyone else who will listen. It took years, one day at a time, to get here. But you too can get to a place of peace and a quiet knowing that gives you strength, courage, and joy.