Grieving is a process that differs according to the person and the actions that caused the grieving. Grieving a death is different from grieving a rape. Grieving over bad decisions is also different. Often times, psychology and family are unable to fully understand the grieving process associated with rape and molestation, or even domestic violence. Therefore, victims often feel like they are alone and misunderstood.
If you know someone who is a victim of sexual abuse or domestic violence, telling them what they should do may not be the best practice. Telling them how to grieve won't work. In fact, often the best way to assist them in their healing process is to stay positive and remind them that they are still human. Don't treat them like a victim. Don't treat them with pity, but do show empathy. It's a tight rope for the family members, but if it is so hard for you, imagine how difficult it is for those who've been abused.