When you think you've reached your limits of what you can endure, then you'll find a hidden store of strength and resilience.
Personally, I've met many, many abused women, men and children because of the work I do now. And I can tell you for certain that they are some of the strongest, most beautiful and most loving people I know. No matter what masks they wear or how thick a wall they've built, there is something absolutely encouraging that flows out of people who have been hurt in such an offensive manner.
Stop looking back at the abuse as your worst enemy to a happy future and realize it is a part of your grand makeup now and there is nothing that can be done about it. Then, you truly find the strength to move beyond it, finding new paths to peace and joy and wholeness.