Sure, you've read the right books. You try to think the right thoughts. You even try to love those who has misused you, but some days you're tired. You don't want to love. You don't want to forgive. It's all you can do to keep wanting to breath. I feel you and have been there and done that.
No matter how tired you get, remember that freedom isn't cheap. It takes a little sacrifice and getting used to, but the day will come when you appreciate those days you held on. Morning is coming, friends. Don't give up an hour before dawn!