Don't be Afraid

Don't be afraid to be happy. Don't sit around waiting on the other shoe to fall and ruin your happiness. Get up and live again! You can and you will!

Once the Grief is Gone

There is a whole life out there waiting on you to get done with your grief and sorrow. 

I can't tell you how long it's going to take, but whenever you find the strength to let go of all the pain in your life, you'll automatically receive peace. Peace happens when you stop struggling to find a reason to love and accept yourself and simply do it. It is highly unproductive to fight against yourself. And it blocks all the wonderful things that could come.

I smile and am happy most days of my life now because whatever happens, I truly love myself. I respect my right to be imperfect. I dare not give the whole world more mercy than I can give to myself. In fact, I must first be filled with this love and mercy and peace and then I can share it with the world.

So go on and grieve and go through your process, but don't stay there. Things are actually going to be brighter and better on the other side. Keep moving until your tears stop flowing and the sun shines brightly upon you.

Join me at Officially Lacresha Hayes, on Twitter and if you hadn't yet, stop by my website and grab a copy of one of my books.

Beauty Can Come from Dysfunction

Out of dysfunction can come joy and beauty unspeakable!

When my son was a baby, I would have never thought that he'd grow up to be so balanced and well-adjusted. He's not any more perfect than anyone else's child, but he's not screwed up or damaged or marred in any way either. With all the trauma we went through together as we grew up together, so to speak, he turned out to be a major blessing, a young man who decided to never become what he'd seen.

Today, I want to encourage you not to allow all the darkness to take your vision. Life will get better for you, but when it's dark, you feel like things will never change. That is the biggest lie. Don't accept it. I remember when I was suicidal, I remember the hopelessness, thinking nothing would ever change. But had I taken my life, I would have missed all the life you see in these pictures in this post. Be encouraged to keep pressing. Stop focusing on all the pain. Stop focusing on all the fake friends, failing family members and bad deeds. Focus instead on what you wish to see, wish to become, hope to accomplish. Let God lead you through the fire and bring you out as pure gold. It can be your reality. Look at me, about to be a granny at age 37 to a fast-growing little boy. Enjoy the photos.



(Tario and his wife, Jemil)

(My little grandson, due in two months)

3 Tricks to Calming Those Raging Emotions

Have you been an emotional wreck lately? Does it seem you can't find emotional balance? It is a known fact that many former victims of abuse have issues with rage and anger. I'm no exception. Are you looking for a solution? Here are three tricks I use to regain control of my emotions during those trying times.

1. Walk away and find a quiet spot. Sometimes I keep walking, talking to myself, praying, meditating until I feel the nervous energy leave my body. That nervous energy comes from adrenaline and that isn't the best chemical to be under the influence of when making decisions.
2. Close the eyes and smile. You may not feel like smiling or closing your eyes. It may not seem convenient to do, but if you do it and maintain it for just a few moments, you'll feel yourself calm down.
3. Give in to the urge to cry. Sometimes, we rage because we're afraid or ashamed to cry. But tears are not harmful to us and it has a way of washing the soul, purging our spirits of heaviness. So go on and have a good cry and refuse to feel guilty or ashamed. Tears are nature's way of helping us cleanse the inside.

Looking for more encouragement, join me on Twitter or Facebook and let's talk. I'm here to be your healing partner!

Let the Sadness Go and Live Again

From the time he left, she walked away, they betrayed you, since that time you've been walking around with your head down, feeling alone and abandoned. But it is time for you to look up and get up.

No amount of sadness or grieving is going to change what has happened to you. It won't change the mistakes you've made. It won't lift the shame you feel. It will not end the condemnation that is trying to swallow you whole. 

You cannot change a thing that has happened, so why keep trying to atone by walking in depression and misery? Live your life and atone/avenge or whatever you have to do through goodness. Let all the pain make you better. Think of yourself as a diamond, the rougher the circumstances the deeper the dirt, the better the value once you're discovered. And if it takes awhile for someone to notice, you're value will continue to increase. A diamond is a diamond whether it is polished or in the rough. I ask you to choose life and that more abundantly. Choose to live again.

Looking for a healing partner? Join with me at Officially Lacresha Hayes. Want to support the work I do? Purchase my books and tell your friends about this small voice crying out for wholeness on behalf of the hurting people. Visit my website today.

Hope For Love

The most important part of life is love because included in it is all the virtues and joys of the world. The horrible side of abuse is it robs the victim of the hope for love. It hardens them, making them wary and unaccepting of love.

The first side of healing is learning to love yourself again, with the tragedies that have happened. Because you were victimized does not mean you're alone or even a rare minority. Abuse is prevalent, even in these "civilized" times. You aren't some freak of nature that deserved it somehow. You're human, a wonderful person problems and all. And you are worthy of love. And guess what? You'll love again and be loved truly, deeply and even passionately. Believe!

Connect with me at Officially Lacresha Hayes, and visit my website for more information on my books. I look forward to being your healing partner.

Making Time for You

Do you make your emotional well-being a priority in your daily life? If not, you should. After all, what can a broken vessel lend to anyone else?

As you go about your day, remember to whisper positive things to yourself periodically. Encourage yourself with loving quotes from the Bible, by humming sweet, simple tunes, by looking in the mirror and smiling no matter who is happening around you.

Make time for you and you'll become that much better for those you love.

For more encouragement, join me at Officially Lacresha Hayes.

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